What's your fear subtype?

A theory I'm working on...

Lately, I’ve been captivated by how much we lead with fear. In analyzing my core fears as outlined by my Enneagram type and North Node placements, I can draw lines to my own decision making. Not to over simplify, but almost every decision I make is rooted in fear. Whether I’m moving towards fear in an effort to overcome it, or using fear to assess risk, it is always a factor.

I have identified three fear subtypes that have helped me understand my relationship with fear; avoiding, disassociating from, and moving towards fear.

Avoiding your core fear is the most obvious response. It manifests as a need for control, playing it safe, or constructing elaborate plans to prevent discomfort. Those who avoid fear may become risk-averse, preferring routine over change and predictability over uncertainty. While this approach offers temporary relief, it is all too easy to become entrenched in avoidance and not show up fully in your own life.

Moving towards fear is not to be confused with fearlessness. It is akin to a moth being drawn to a flame. You may notice a tendency to confront the very thing that scares you—sometimes to prove something to yourself, other times to dismantle its power. This is common in people who feel a deep need to challenge themselves, often mistaking self-inflicted struggle for progress. However, moving towards your primary fear is still giving it power over your life by giving it your continued focus.

Disassociating from fear manifests as unawareness of what you are afraid of. Rather than confronting or avoiding it, this approach involves numbing, suppressing, or intellectualizing fear. It might look like overanalyzing emotions instead of feeling them, or distracting oneself with work, relationships, or external validation. Those who disassociate from fear may not recognize it as a driving force in their decisions, yet their choices are often shaped by an underlying avoidance of discomfort.

I have exhibited each of these subtypes at one time or another, and the more I engage with and understand my fears, the more ensnared I become. If fear is always at the core of my decisions, am I ever really free from it?

I will continue to ruminate on this and report back if I discover anything valuable! In the meantime, I would love to hear about your relationship with fear and if you resonate with any of the fear subtypes. Respond to this email or leave a comment below.

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