JUST LIVE

Contemplating the new year

The most impactful lesson I learned from my years of singing is that singing well revolves around your ability to get out of the way of your own voice. Pitch moves naturally from your brain to your vocal cords, yet for most of us, ego takes over and decides that we need to position our tongue in a certain way or tense our jaw to sing. In other words, the effort you put into controlling your sound is a hindrance to your voice.

The lesson here is that when you try to exert control over something that would be better left alone, the process is stressful and the result is tainted. When I sat down to reflect on my year and write resolutions for 2025 I felt agitated by the impulse to apply rigid standards to my life to optimize the upcoming year. I frequently fall into the trap of thinking that if I can only achieve “x,y, and z,” I will be happy. I hang my sense of fulfillment on the goals I strive for, which are constantly changing targets. The goals I set for 2024, achieved or unrealized, did not make me happy. Instead, it was the unexpected moments that arose from being present in my life that brought me joy.

In The Way To Love, Anthony De Mello’s last meditations, he suggests that we are programmed to engage in self-promotion and self-gratification, attaching ourselves to desires that perpetuate a state of frustration and fear. He says, “These feelings do not produce the nourishment and happiness that is produced when one contemplates nature or enjoys the company of one’s friends or one’s work. They were meant to produce thrills, excitement, and emptiness.” We miss out on truly living when we exert control over our lives in the same way we miss our true voice when we manipulate the production of sound.

I vividly remember my voice teacher in high school screaming “JUST SING!!” during our lessons. Her voice is in my head now as I contemplate my goals for 2025; “JUST LIVE!!”

Thanks for reading.