Free-time paralysis
I often find myself saving articles, bookmarking links, and making lists of places I would like to visit and things I would like to do “when I have time.” The activities I have squirreled away for the future could last me years...
When the baby is asleep and the work is done I find myself panicked by the seemingly vast opportunity in my hands. I have no idea what I want to do. It’s like the articles, books, and activities that I thought I would want to attend to “later” turn into pressure when I have the time to do them but don’t want to.
It’s called ‘free time paralysis’ and it’s holding my evenings captive. Essentially, having too many choices leads to avoidance of doing anything at all. It’s one thing to simply not want to do anything, but this sneaky phenomenon also leaves me feeling guilty for not doing something.
The idea of free time is a myth. Technically all of our time is free and we choose to participate in certain obligations that grant us benefits. Categorizing sections of time as ‘free’ only puts a vast amount of pressure on that time while taking the joy out of all the other time we have.
By saving things for this illusive free time, I’m characterizing my future self as someone who has the energy to do those things AND wants to do them. When the time comes and I’m not ready to be that person, I’m not only unsure of what to do, I’m disappointed in myself. Instead of developing a nighttime routine that feels restful and fulfilling (which is what I really need), I’m stuck in paralysis.
Is this something you’ve experienced? What have you done to combat it? This Reddit thread has some great ideas, but I would love to hear from you!