My Antidote to Gift Guides and Black Friday Sales
My name is Ellen and I hate gift guides almost as much as I love reading them. The appeal of a curated list is so strong I can’t seem to help myself from clicking on every single one that pops up on my newsfeed. Every blog, online magazine, newsletter, and influencer has at least one gift guide this time of year filled with sponsored products and affiliate links. Don’t even get me started on the themed guides that have become popular in recent years where you can shop for each type of person in your life! There’s nothing like fitting your friends and loved ones into boxes like “the wellness friend” or “the outdoorsy one” to show them you care. While I admit that these guides are appealing and have a lot of good ideas in them, I can’t help but feel like I’m being sucked into a huge marketing scheme designed to make me want to spend tons of money on things that aren’t meaningful.
The tricky thing about these gift guides is how efficiently they suck you in. You can’t escape them if you subscribe to any newsletter, read any blog, or are on social media in any capacity which elicits the feeling of overwhelm from too many choices AND at the same time they’re “cultivated” so you feel like you can find what you’re looking for within their guidance and save yourself the vast sprawl of products offered online. It’s a lethal combo. Adding another layer of stress are the Black Friday sales that turned into Cyber Monday sales that have now become a full two-week period of constantly changing offers from every company under the sun. In a two-week span, a blog I read has posted 3 different guides to “fall sales,” 2 guides to “early-access” black Friday sales, a sponsored holiday shopping guide for one particular company, and 6 (!!!) gift guides. Is anyone else feeling overwhelmed yet?
In the other camp are the minimalists who jump at the opportunity to share their approach to holiday gift-giving, complete with, you guessed it, gift guides. While they may be taking a “simpler” and more mindful approach to their gift-giving, they’re inadvertently adding an added layer of stress with the “there’s a right and wrong way to approach this” undertone. Many of them are also not immune to the pull of affiliate links, Amazon storefronts, and sponsored content Is there an actual place for us to turn to receive valuable gift advice, or are we all part of a yearly e-commerce game where everyone but the consumer profits?
As I sit here unraveling my opinions and feelings on the mania that is gift-giving for the holidays, I wonder where the intuition is in all of this. Don’t WE know what our loved ones will value? Don’t WE know what makes us feel loved and celebrated? In an age of over-reliance on other people’s opinions, have we lost the ability to decide for ourselves? Have too many choices, too many sales, too much intervention by way of marketing, algorithms, and money influencing our purchasing decisions made us feel the need to rely on gift guides to find a meaningful gift for someone? Has e-commerce ruined gift-giving?
This may come as a surprise after reading four paragraphs of gift-giving cynicism but my primary love language is gift giving! As a picky person, receiving something thoughtful makes me feel seen, understood, and cared for in a way that nothing else can. I love nothing more than finding unique gifts that speak to the attention I give my loved ones; knowing what you love, listening to what you need, and my deep nosey-ness for every aspect of your personality.
To give something special to a loved one is a physical manifestation of your love and appreciation for the intricacies that make them who they are.
In an effort to stay mindful and maintain my love of gift-giving this year, I have some tips for navigating the vast world of products, sales, and advertisements. I hope this helps you relieve the stress of the holiday shopping rush and honor what feels meaningful to you as you show your loved-ones appreciation over the holidays.
How to Stay Mindful and Intentional While Shopping for Gifts:
Decide what works for YOU. Set a budget, decide what events to say yes to if they involve gifts, think about if you want to receive gifts or not, and be clear in your boundaries.
Make a list of people you’d like to give gifts to and spend time thinking about what they would really value. A good brainstorming session before you start looking makes for the most thoughtful and creative gifts.
Shop in person as much as you can. Get out of the algorithm trap and endless strolling and look for meaningful gifts in stores.
When you do shop online, utilize trusted favorites. Influencers you trust, brands you know and love, and online shops that you frequent are the best places to support over the holidays while hiding from mass recommendations and overwhelm.
Recognize when you feel stressed and step away for a bit to get clarity on if this is a gift you really want, or if the pressure of the sale is influencing your purchase
Keep reminding yourself of WHY you’re buying gifts in the first place. The whole process should be as joyful and exciting as your loved ones will feel receiving your gift.
Utilize this tool to make sure you really want to purchase!
Some of my favorite gifts that don’t require a purchase:
Handwritten letters. People don’t often realize the qualities you love about them and how much you care. Sharing your appreciation in a handwritten letter is extremely meaningful.
Home-cooked food, coffee, hot chocolate, etc. paired with quality time
Time, presence, and support. Maybe one of the most valuable things you can give to someone!
Help with errands and projects. Helping someone complete that one task they’ve been putting off is such a huge relief, and makes the process more fun!
Get to know them on a deeper level and invest your compassion into them. Learn about their Astrological chart, enneagram type, Myers Briggs, etc. Feeling understood is an incredibly valuable gift.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend kicking off the holiday season! Don’t let the sales get the best of you ;)
*Bonus Game: Drink every time I say gift-giving in this newsletter!
Much love,
Ellen